Growing

In case you didn't know, I have 2 sweet little girls; and they are GROWING!

 

Please don't judge me for any outfit choices...sometimes you pick your battles & in the morning before preschool I avoid as many as possible.

 

Now y'all are probably thinking: Tasha, this is not a newsflash. You talk about them non-stop & kids DO grow. But it has REALLY hit me in the last 2 days that they are growing! You see, I am with them every day & see them every day; so sometimes it is hard for me to see this growth.

 

Jamie is getting taller & can reach the counter to put her own dishes on it after each of our meals & snacks. She's also getting that "no" & "I do it myself" stage. Jamie can now open doors by herself....not just the ones that have levers, but doorknobs now too. She can also take care of ALL of her own potty needs (remember the "I do it myself" stage I just mentioned). Sorry to mention it, but we have been in that season of life. PLUS, this is a MAJOR difference from sweet Kayla (who is just now getting over the loud noise issues she had with the flushing).

 

But Kayla is growing too. I mean, check out those pants she has on in the picture above....they ARE TOO SHORT! We JUST got into 5T not but a few months ago & it is looking like we are going to have to exit the "T" world of clothing for her comfy pants...which means soon we will leave for other clothes too. We can also see this added height in other ways: she can reach the light switches in the house & can also reach the paper towel roll (which is mounted under one of the high cabinets). I know I've also blogged about Kayla's growth (loud noises, playing with kids her age, etc.).

 

Well, Kayla is ALSO wanting to know more about what we as adults are interested in.....& we kind of had a PRETTY major even this week. Her Daddy was REALLY into the election (uhm, just in case you aren't a friend of his on Facebook to see his statuses, I thought I would inform you). So he started teaching her about voting & how elections work. Of course Kayla got ALL into it & was cheering on a certain candidate. And (just in case you aren't friends with him on FB), her Dad's choice for president did not get elected. Well, he's out-of-town, so I had to handle this one on my own. Y'all, I was NERVOUS! I prayed & even had a friend praying for me to say the right things.

 

Well, here's how it went....I told her Obama was still president. I reminded her that God is in control no matter who would have won. And that we ALWAYS need to be praying for our nation, NOT just when who we wanted doesn't win. I told her she should pray that God's Will be done & to pray that President Obama turns to God for help. And that if ANYONE said anything bad about him OR if she had any negative thoughts, instead of expressing them out loud to people, she should pray.

 

I asked her if she understood, & this is what I got:

God, please get President Obama to ask for Your help. Amen!

 

I think she is growing in more ways than I think.....

 

So, what do you think?



Four Categories of Unglued Reactions

Today's Unglued Blog

 

Like I said yesterday, depending on the situation & the people involved, I shift my unglued reaction & can fall into all four categories. I know I'm not alone on this cause even Lysa TerKeurst admits that she does it. And you've got to LOVE this woman! As she describes each of the categories, she "lays it all out on the table, splitting her heart wide open and being as raw as it gets." She even said "Heavens, it's about to get a little messy around here...but I know you'll understand and that's why I love you so." I'm going to describe each of the four categories for you, but for her messy & raw moments...you'll have to read the book.

 

The Exploder Who Shames Herself

This is when I feel unglued with a stranger, I tend to be an exploder who later shames herself for not being more Christian-like. The unglued reaction with the stranger probably won't be loud or draw any attention, but I will have a stern reaction if someone is rude, disrespectful, or belligerent. It might be quietly stern, but the person will have no doubt I'm unhappy (remember, exploders aren't always loud in conveying their point, but they do use their words & tone to make sure the other person feels their point).

 

Later, shame slithers up close & whispers, "Look at you and all your Bible studying...what good is it all? What good are you?" The heaviness will leave me with a sinking feeling that I won't ever really change. And a familiar thought runs through a well-worn rut in my brain: I'll probably always be a slave to the raw emotions that catch me off guard.

What a lie!

 

The Exploder Who Blames Others

This is when I'm feeling unglued with my girls, I tend to be an exploder who blames them for pushing me to this place. It's those days (or moments) when I'm in the best mood, determined to have a shine-my-momma halo day (or moment), only to have that halo slip into a noose around my neck minutes later. You know, those head-spinning momma moments I've mentioned. And then I'll throw in a quick, "But I love you!" However, all my sentiments fall flat. I blame them for all the chaos that's gotten us into this unglued place.

 

And later the regret of it all falls heavy, so heavy. I get that sinking feeling again that I won't ever really be able to change: I'll probably always be a slave to the raw emotions that catch me off guard.

What a lie!

 

The Stuffer Who Builds Barriers

This is when I'm feeling unglued with my friends or my parents, I tend to be a stuffer who builds barriers. Those moments where something is said by them & I may stare into the sky & wish I could become as weightless as a cloud & float away. Then I think, "I can't deal with this. I don't know what to say or how to say it." So I say nothing. Not a word. I stuff it all down & start to build a barrier to hide behind. I smile when I see them, but I hold them at a distance. They know something is wrong, but when questioned, I lie saying "everything's fine" when it's really not fine at all. And then the communication dies down, which kills the relationship.

 

The regret feels heavy, so heavy. And it's there again, that sinking feeling that I won't ever really be able to change: I'll probably always be a slave to the raw emotions that catch me off guard.

What a lie!

 

The Stuffer Who Collects Retaliation Rocks

This is when I'm feeling unglued with someone I am the closest to (closest friend or a significant other), I tend to collect retaliation rocks to use as weapons in future disagreements. I keep the peace by smiling, all the while swallowing little gulps of bitterness. Each time they say or do something that upsets me, I smile & swallow, forming little bitter rocks that sit heavy on my soul. And I just wait for the right moment to pull them out & retaliate with all this proof of how damaging it all is. Finally, one little thing will set it off and all the insecurities & resentment I'd stuffed shoot up from a dark corner within, & I pummel with the retaliation rocks.

 

The regret eventually feels heavy once again, so heavy. And again, that sinking feeling that I won't ever really be able to change: I'll probably always be a slave to the raw emotions that catch me off guard.

What a lie!

 

If you have been believing this same lie, hang on to this truth: Just the fact that you continue reading these Unglued blogs (or read Lysa's book) is a sign of great progress. Refuse to wallow in the depressing angst condemnation brings. On the other hand, embrace any conviction you feel. Condemnation defeats us. Conviction unlocks the greatest potential for change.

 

So, how about you? Could you see yourself in each of these categories now that they've been described a little more in depth? I know I can! I can't wait to continue this ride of imperfect progress!

What Kind of Unglued Am I?

Today's Unglued Blog

 

Lysa says I need to answer these questions in order to really face up to my raw emotions:

Am I an exploder?

Or am I a stuffer?

 

Just as we all know, emotions don't sit still.

They are active -- & they travel. We can flow very easily (and sometimes quickly) from one to another. I need to know where mine are taking me so I can understand why I sometimes come unglued.

 

I need to define myself not for the purpose of labeling, but for identifying, for naming what is true (& there is a BIG difference in the two). Labeling says, "I am a sum total of my difficult issues." Identifying says, "My issues are part of the equation but not the sum total." It's healthy and productive to identify the issues that cause me to react badly [have head-spinning moments] when I am stressed, irritated by people who get on my nerves, stuck in conflicts, feeling hurt or causing hurt, at the mercy of raging hormones, or drenched in my raw emotions.

 

The identifying process is simple at first: people become unglued & react in one of two ways, either exploding or stuffing.

 

Exploding means pushing raw emotions outward. The telltale sign of being an exploder is not the decibel level but having reactions that feel good in the moment because it gets the yuck out. But when I realize how I've spewed on others & the hurt we've caused, the regret falls heavy.

 

Stuffing means pushing emotions inward. I swallow hard & lock my hurt feelings inside, not in an effort to process & release them, but to wallow in the hurt. I coat the issue with more & more layers of hurt until it forms a hard rock of sorts. It's a rock that I'll eventually use either to build a barrier or to hurl at someone else in retaliation.

 

So there are actually four categories of unglued reactions I need to learn about:

Exploders who shame themselves

Exploders who blame others

Stuffers who build barriers

Stuffers who collect retaliation rocks

 

Can you see yourself in any of these? I think with different situations, I can fall into all four categories. Next time I blog about Unglued, I'll go into a little more detail on these four categories.

Monday & Tuesday All Rolled Into One

I decided since I had a minute, I would just blog about Monday & Tuesday all in one.

 

Monday

So this was Fall Back Monday...you know, the Monday after Day Light Savings Time Ends. The girls didn't have any trouble with the time change. Kayla did try to get up during the old hour of 7, but just sat in the living room quietly while I finished my Quiet Time. I think part of my help with this is that I have put aluminum foil on their windows. Yes, I KNOW it looks silly when outside of their rooms; but it keeps their rooms dark instead of them rising with the sun AND it's WAY less expensive then room-darkening shades.

 

However, I was TIRED all day....I happened to look up at the clock in the lab where I cut lenses & got REALLY excited that it was almost lunch time:

Then I realized this clock had not been changed. I thought that really stunk cause I was getting hungry! My belly was still on old time.

 

By the way...I do NOT like getting to the house from work after it has started getting dark....

This was my view after work when I was getting the mail.

 

I was, however, VERY EXCITED to get a text from my friend who invited the girls & I to her house for dinner. She had Taco Soup ready for her & I & hot dogs ready for the girls when we walked in the door. It was nice! 

Jamie made hot dog pops with her "sticks" (aka: toothpicks) as she dipped her's in Ranch (don't judge, I do what I need to do to get my girl to eat).

 

While us big girls were finishing up our Taco Soup & the girls had finished their hot dog pops; they entertained us with silly faces.

 

 After dinner, it was time to start a movie & play!

NO matter how many times we watch Chipwrecked, the girls have certain parts they will get completely still to watch, no matter what they are playing.

Kayla was styling while she was fishing.

 

Tuesday

So...it's Election Day. I exercised my right to vote by voting early....and that's all I'm saying about that.

 

I decided it was Build Your Own Pizza Night [for step-by-step, see previous blog: http://asunshinyday99.blogspot.com/2012/09/build-your-own-pizza-night.html ]

 

I've mentioned before that I haven't really ever found a store-bought marinara sauce that I'm in love with. Well, since then I have discovered the Tastefully Simple Mama Mia Marinara Sauce Mix & I am happy with it. It's REALLY easy.

Add 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes with 1/4 cup of mix to a sauce pan. Bring to a low boil; then reduce to low heat, cover, & simmer for 10 minutes.

Then it was time for us to Build Your Own Pizza

Tonight's pizza toppings: Marinara Sauce, Cheese, Pepperoni, Jimmie Dean Sausage, & Diced Ham for everyone, & added Bell Peppers for Mommy's only.

Tonight I used Grands Jr. Biscuits as our crust. It was a GREAT idea as it provided for the PERFECT size....UNTIL I had to transfer the pizzas from the building plates to the Pizza Stone. An uncooked biscuit does not provide ANY support for transferring to a different surface. I made it work though....may build on aluminum foil if I do this type of crust again & just put the aluminum foil onto the pan.

 

I only used 3 of the 5 biscuits to make the pizzas & was like, what the heck am I going to do with 2 biscuits?!?!?! I didn't want to be wastefully & throw them away, so I decided to go with a spontaneous dessert.

 

I'll call them: Mini Caramel Sprinkle Rolls with Homemade Vanilla Icing.

Kayla thought they were pretty yummy!

 

I cleaned up the kitchen & the girls watched: 

 

After I got them to bed, I decided to do a little workout....I used my Abs App:

 

....And my Kettlebell App: 

 

I've just gotten Kettlebells & I'm excited to use them. It's a great workout to burn calories pretty quick. I started out slow. I'll keep you up on how this goes....but feel free to ask!

 

So how has your life been since the Fall Back in time????



Fall Back Weekend Wrap-Up

Well, what a weekend?!?!?!

 

Friday

The boss loaded up with his Dad & buddies at 5am & went to Missouri for their annual hunting trip, PLUS my co-worker wasn't here; so this girl sat & did a lot of NOTHING at work. Jamie battled her croup AGAIN Thursday night, so the interrupted sleep AND just sitting around made for a VERY worn-out Momma when I got home from work.

 

So imagine how blessed I felt when I got home & my mother-in-law had done MOST of the cleaning I needed to do. Since I was so worn out & didn't want to mess up my freshly cleaned kitchen, I loaded the girls up for a trip to Sonic [in Oakland cause we don't prefer the one in Somerville]. I had the Chicken Club Toaster with Tator Tots & Diet Vanilla Coke (which was ALL yummy)....& I practiced portion control! Kayla got a Wacky Pack with a Cheeseburger, Ketchup only, Tator Tots, & Ocean Water. Jamie got a Wacky Pack with Chicken Fingers, Tator Tots, & Sweet Tea. Their Wacky Packs are either this, or with a hot dog. My LOVE for Sonic Ocean Water has DEFINITELY passed on to Kayla; but not so much with Jamie. When we got home, I did the little bit of cleaning I needed to do while the girls supervised & watched a little TV before we all went to bed. Mommy got a REALLY BAD migraine after cleaning with a product that had bleach in it & not ventilating the bathrooms (I am typing this out to help remind me to OPEN THE WINDOW when I clean with bleach). So I couldn't fit anything else fun in for the night & we went to bed.

 

Saturday

God blessed Jamie (& Mommy) with a FULL night of sleep! I praise the Lord that her croup did not flair up Friday night (& hasn't since Thursday morning). Now, I CAN & HAVE (MANY times) function with little to no sleep &/or interrupted sleep. I did it just fine during the infant stages with each of the girls because I was in that season of my life. However, after 3 nights of being up for several hours at a time with a sweet baby girl who can't catch a break from a barking cough REALLY wore me down. Therefore, I slept in & missed my morning quiet time.

 

We woke up to Internet & phones not working; but that was ALSO a blessing because I needed to do just a few more things before our friends showed up for a Pampered Chef Party. I LOVE having in-home parties...they are SO FUN & I LOVE helping out a local business owner. I also LOVE food....so it was FUN TIMES!!!!! One of my friends brought her little girl & the girls ALL had a BLAST playing.

 

After everyone left, the girls went down for a nap while I did some relaxing & watched some TV & did some dozing. When the girls got up, we had some thrown-together in less than 20 minutes spaghetti & watched:

 We LOVE this movie!

 

Then the girls went to bed & I watched:

It's GREAT chick flick/tear jerker movie!!!!

 

Sunday

I was unhappy to wake up with a BAD sinus pressure headache. I KNOW that I don't HAVE to go to church to be a Christian; that it's all about my personal relationship with Him! But He has said we should go & I get SO MUCH out of my Sunday School class & the sermon. PLUS, I love being in fellowship with His people!

 

So we did A LOT of sitting around first thing....we watched:

Another one of our FAV movies!

 

Once the movie was over, I decided to work on some organizing projects I have been NEEDING to do around the house. I wish I would have taken a before picture...but didn't. I am not completely finished with it; but it's DEFINITELY coming along. While I was working on my projects, the girls decided to get out some games to play that don't require as much direct adult supervision. Here are some of what they did:

The LOVE this Honeybee Hive Game!

 

Then it was time for a little Toy Story Operation.

 

Here Kayla is telling Jamie: Now watch me so you will know how to be a good doctor (cracking me up).

 

Then they played their version (not EXACTLY in line with the rules but they were playing TOGETHER) of the Cranium Playground game.

 

And finally it was time for a little Wacky Duck (without the batteries). The object of this game is to toss the rings around the ducks neck. Well, we have a hard time hitting our target when it's still, so we are trying to master that before making it a moving object (adding batteries).

 

Since I had been working HARD all morning, I decided while the girls were napping, I would fold some laundry (the basket FULL that always catches the stuff I don't need to immediately hang up to keep from having wrinkles....the towels, socks, & unders) & watch ANOTHER of my FAV movies:

It's just a good movie in my book!

 

Once that was over, yet ANOTHER of my FAVS came on:

This movie was big one of the years I played softball & our team even made up a song like the song they made up. I don't remember the words now, but I remember we sang it at almost every game.

 

The girls started waking up while it was on, so I decided I HAD to get back up & get back at it. When our friends came over Satruday morning, they brought Jamie a pair of dress up shoes that had been outgrown. She wore them ALMOST ALL DAY SUNDAY. Here is the picture SHE asked me to take of her in them:

She was cracking me up with the socks on WITH her dress-up shoes.

 

I did a little more work on my projects, & decided to have some fun with the girls! They were all into their show that had started though, so I decided to do some work with my abs app. OF COURSE the girls decided to join in:

Jamie doing her FAV move: Planks

Kayla doing her FAV move: Hip Thrust

 

Then we decided to do:

The girls LOVE doing this AND it's an AMAZING workout for me!

 

After some relaxing & dinner, we got a chance to talk to Nonnie & Pappaw (aka: my Mom & Dad). Jamie was RUNNING around the house with the cordless phone saying look at my this & see that. She also did some singing for them & had been on the phone FOR A WHILE....so I picked up the corded phone in the kitchen. Kayla thought this was SO COOL that we could have more than 1 person in our house on the phone at the same time, so she HAD to get in on the action too!

Kayla in the kitchen on corded phone & Jamie in the living room on the cordless phone.

 

I decided they had TOO MUCH fun without me playing games without me, so we played:

Cat in the Hat....we had LOTS of fun & giggles

 

After the girls had their bath & went to bed, yet ANOTHER of my all-time FAV movies came on TV, so I watched:

 

This was the first big role for one of my newest FAV actresses:

Hayden Panettiere

 

She has grown up & now has a lead role in a new show:

 

 

So how was your weekend???

Call It Grace

Today's Unglued Blog

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

 

Am I ready to see myself as God's workmanship and do the work I've been called to do? You bet your bottom dollar I am! So what now?

 

Call it

 

Lysa suggest doing three things as you untangle the root of what is making me feel the way I feel (and I'll go throught these with my previously mentioned label: I am a horrible mother.):

 

1. Idenfity the label as a lie meant to tear me down.

The reality: I parent differently than others mother/parent.

The lie: My differences in parenting mean I am a horrible mother.

The truth: Parenting differently [I don't do TOO many odd things, remember, Kayla was pointing out differences] does not make me a horrible mother. It makes me a child of God who parents differently than other people....parenting the way I should parent Kayla & Jamie.

 

Grace. I can see it. I can feel it. I can call it grace.

 

2. Chose to view this circumstance as a call to action, not a call to beat myself up mentally.

Parenting differently means I need to make sure I am relying on God [and being intentional with sharing how I am with the girls] to help me to raise Christ-seeking, well-behaved little girls who become who God designed them to become.

 

Grace. I can see it. I can feel it. I can call it grace.

 

3. Use the momentum of tackling one label to help me tackle more.

Taking action & tearing down this one label in my life has given me the courage to tackle other labels. Courage & strength can come just from getting started. So now it is time for me to start with other labels I let imprison me & allow God to chisel away.

 

Grace. I will see it. I will feel it. I will call it grace.

 

 

Would you like to know how I can tell this has actually happened to me instead of me just rewriting words from an inspirational woman? I have faith. I have prayed to God for help with this....of course after Kayla was begging me (almost in tears) to stop labeling myself out loud. And now I'm like a friend Lysa describes in the book (this woman had actually gone to prison...want more detials on her, read the book). I am going to put into my words what she said & apply it to my situation of being imprisoned by this label: I know I have truly changed because of God's grace because 1) I have stopped labeling myself as a horrible mother; and 2) I am so hungry for God's Word, & God is really using me to pray & share His Word. In place of any fear of being judged/critized by others for sharing is a strength, peace, & hope for the future (that my girls will grow up to be Christ-seeking, well-behaved young women who have become who God designed them to become).

 

I see God's workmanship in this hard chiseling of my experience. I pray to let God chisel me in everyway He wants because I know it will be beautiful....afterall, like a bracelet I saw yesterday: I am a child of God; I'm kind of a big deal.

 

For those of you who don't know, for me to be able to say that & truly believe it is a MAJOR step...you see I've struggled with self-esteem & self-confidence issues my whole life. But that's another label I am working on with God.

 

I have other labels I struggle with & struggle through, but I'm ready to unglue them too. In that sense, I rather like the thought of being an unglued woman.

 

So...are you ready to unglue your labels? Are you ready to give them to God & feel his amazing grace? Do it....trust me, you'll be glad you did!

Refuse the Labels of the Past...

Today's Unglued Blog

Wow....SO SORRY about the big break there! Between Jamie not sleeping for 3 nights (which means I wasn't sleeping) due to her croup (a tight, barking cough that is at it's WORSE from sundown to sunup) & my sinuses acting up, I NEEDED to get some rest....so I did over the last 2 mornings (& was a little late getting up this morning).

 

Remember I told you God is calling us out -- out of darkness, out from those places we thought would never get better, out of being stuck? Well, He is....& an excellent passage that confirms God calling us out of the darkness is from 1 Peter:

 

As you come to him, the living Stone -- rejected by [humans] but chosen by God and precious to him -- you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ...you are a chose people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:4-5, 9)

 

You see, Peter (which means "the rock") was born as Simon (which means "shifty"). But he did not get stuck being shifty his whole life. He let God chisel him. Peter is the one who dared to jump out of the boat and walk on water (Matthew 14:22-32). Peter was also the man that loved his Lord SO MUCH that he drew his sword & cut off the ear of the guard trying to arrest Jesus (John 18:10). But then he denies even knowing Jesus (John 18:17).

 

Despite how shifty Peter sounds to us, Jesus did not see him that way. He saw Peter as a courageous man who needed chiseling....& when chiseled, would boldly do what others would not. We get to actually see this chiseling in John 21:15-17 when Jesus ask Peter if he loves Jesus. We later see the evidence of the chiseled Peter in Acts 2:14, 40-41 as he is bold, assured, and prepared to do the work the Master created him to do....he doesn't seem so shifty anymore.

 

Peter was God's workmanship. We are God's workmanship! God is chiseling us, making us new, releasing us from our hard places--those places that make us feel so stinkin' defeated--so we can do good words. Works God has prepared for us, which means He knows best how to prepare in us the character we need to fulfill our calling.

 

Chapter 3's Memory verse is "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

 

Wow! Will I see grace & feel grace & call it grace when I come unglued? Even when, like Peter, I deny Christ with my actions? Will I embrace the grace by which I've been saved through faith--choose to see myself as God's workmanship--& do the good work I've been called to do?

 

Will I Refuse the Labels of the Past....

 

By the way...I feel like I'm just rewriting part of this chapter. So should I even continue blogging this? OR should I just leave it to you all to read the book? All I'm doing is rewriting what Lysa said....