It is Finished

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

There are not 2 me's. There is not the one you see on the outside, & then the one that is on the inside. Nope, God does not see me like that! There is only one me! If I believe that God doesn't accept a part of me, I will in essence believe the lie that God's love is conditional & based on my performance. I will make the outside me try & try & try to perform well enough to earn His love & deserve His grace. All the while trying & trying & trying to quiet the secret me & make her go away.

The secret me yells, feels crazy, or stuffs & stews. She is a spinning tornado, out of control. She is destructive & chaotic & full of bitter rot. It's an awful feeling to know this tornado looms on the edge of the gentle, easy-breezy girl I want to be.

This split is the core struggle of the unglued woman. The woman in 2 parts --one good, one bad. One assured, one ashamed. And though she spends much of her time as the good & presentable one, it takes only a little of the secret one to ruin the whole.

But God's grace isn't in limited supply. The world's economy has limited supplies, but not God's economy.

And the very first woman of the Bible, Eve, can show this truth. Right from the beginning of time, God has dealt tenderly with His girls. Eve was the perfect picture of the unglued woman. Good but bad. Gentle like a breeze, but lured into the tornado of sin.

Adam & Eve ate the forbidden fruit & were banished from the Garden of Eden. They were not leaving paradise because God was punishing them. He was not disappointed in them. God was not giving them what they deserved. I, like Lysa, sometimes believed God was.

There were 2 special trees in the Garden of Eden. One was the tree of the knowledge of good & evil. This was the one with the forbidden fruit. The other was the tree of life. This was the one that gave Adam & Eve perpetual life --no diseases & no death.

When they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good & evil, sin entered in the world & it corrupted everything. And at that point it was God's absolute love & most tender mercy --not His anger & retaliation-- that ushered Adam & Eve out of the garden.

They had to leave. If they'd been allowed to stay, they would have kept eating from the tree of life & lived forever, wallowing in sin & all the brokenness sin brings with it. And God couldn't stand that for the people He loved. So it was His love that made them leave.

And it was God's love & grace that eventually sent Jesus to invite mankind back. Back from our sin. Back from our brokenness. If only we'll proclaim Jesus Christ as our risen Lord, God's grace will never run out.

Brokenness to redemption, where mercy & grace kiss both sides of our face. Brokenness where we are split open. Redemption where God knits us back together. Mercy when we don't get the punishment we do deserve. Grace when we get the lavish love gifts we don't deserve. So here we are.

Lysa said she has her hands cupped to my face (like my grandmother when she was really trying to tell me something) & is saying: God loves you. God loves you now. God loves you when you're unglued. God loves you when you stuff. God loves you when you explode. He loves you when you exemplify soul integrity, and He loves you when you don't. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you so much that He refuses to leave you stuck in this place. Take His hand, trust His love, and walk in the beautiful opportunity for imperfect progress.

Yes, the great unglued will still call for me to entertain its wild & unpredictable realities. But I have been made new. So, if by chance you see me in the aisle at Walmart (or Kroger or any give place) forgetting this truth & coming a little unglued, just whisper the gentle, hope-filled reminder, It's a choice. Choose imperfect progress, sweet friend," & smile.

 

Y'all....this will be the last Unglued Blog Update. I can't believe I've made it all the way through this book, kept blogging about it, & how far it has brought me through my imperfect progress. I know I have more progress to make, but I am still amazed at how much God has changed me since I began this book blogging journey!

So what book blogging journey is next for me? Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl also by Lysa TerKeurst.

 

A New Charge

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

 

Lysa found a verse that gave her the perfect charge with which to whisper good-bye to me....for now....as I wrap up Unglued. I'm not finished yet, but we're almost there. From God's Word:

Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you. (Hosea 10:12)

Sow righteousness for yourself. In other words, I should sow into my life the seeds of righteousness --right choices that honor God. Make these choices. Choose to honor Him in the midst of it all. Even when I am disheveled, discouraged, or dishonored, I need to honor Him still.

 

Reap the fruit of unfailing love. Every choice that honors God bears the fruit of God's unfailing love. I need to remember: nothing can separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). But that is Satan's great tactic: to get me entangled in little things that make me forget God's unfailing love. Or, worse yet, doubt God's unfailing love. I need to resist distracting entanglement by honoring God with this choice I am faced with right now.

 

Break up your unplowed ground. I don't need to resist the blessing of brokenness that tills the ground of my heart. Breaking up the unplowed ground of my heart will make it ready for new life, new growth, & new maturity in me.

 

For it is time to seek the LORD. I need to seek God like never before. Part of seeking Him is allowing for grace space in my life. Grant God's grace some space in my mind, my heart, my world. How do I do this? When circumstances of life leak me dry, I need to see this emptiness as an opportunity. Instead of reacting out of emptiness, I should choose to see this emptiness as the perfect spot for grace to grow.

 

Until he comes and showers his righteousness on you. As I give grace to those who don't deserve it, the mercy jars of heaven will lavish it back on me. I will grow. I will be able to make right choices that honor Him. I start to look at life & people --and annoying circumstances-- differently. And I will even dare to whisper "thank you" when the need for grace spaces come again & again.

 

And they will come. I have the capacity to expand the space for grace in my heart. I can be the patient woman I sometimes doubt it's possible for me to be. I just have to choose patience. Or gentleness. Or grace.

 

It's a choice.

 

Ahh....imperfect progress...soul integrity...& more space for grace.

Accepting the Invitation to Imperfect Progress

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

 

 

 

I have to decide if I am going to extend grace & laugh or come unglued. It is a choice plain & simple. And honestly, that's what all this comes down to, a choice.

 

Sometimes I might have to boss my heart around a little & in the end decide to let a truth from Proverbs 3 redirect me a bit

Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. (verses 3-4)

I don't want loyalty & kindness to leave me. I don't know about binding them around my neck, but I can absolutely write them deep within my heart. So I need to memorize this verse...or at least get the gist of it in my mind & on my heart....and it will help.

 

I think through the process of blogging this book, I've been making imperfect progress. But I do still sometimes feel I'm more imperfect than progress-making (you should have been here yesterday morning while we were trying to get out the door for school or last night when I wanted to do just a little blogging as my 'Pamper Self' time). But other times I have surprised myself & didn't come unglued when I know I surely would have before (most other school mornings & when the girls are wanting to help me do something).

 

Blogging through this book has created a healing & revealing space for grace in my life. A place where I can come just as I am without feeling the need to get all gussied up beforehand (I've either just rolled out of bed or still have a wet-head when I blog this).

 

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update

They Have Underbellies Too

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

Really?!?!? Are you kidding me?!?!? That's usually my first thought when someone starts to come unglued on me.....sometimes through an ugly Facebook comment/message or text. Maybe they make a little passive-aggressive statement that doesn't feel very little. Maybe they stop calling & make it obvious they've avoiding me. Maybe they say hurtful things about me behind my back. Whatever their sign of unglued, it feels bad.

Basically, they are being critical of me. Sometimes criticism is fair. Maybe I messed up, & it would serve me well to reconsider. Other times, criticism is nothing but rotten spew. And man does it stink. But if I get stuck in the stink, it serves no good purpose.

But how else can I look at criticism? To get past the hurt so I can see if they have underbellies I should consider?

Remember, the underbelly is the vulnerable area...our personal development & spiritual lives. It takes tough work that isn't always immediately visible but it's the foundation to our health --emotionally & spiritually.

In an effort to protect my underbelly, I sometimes get all wrapped up in myself & tragically forget the underbelly of my critic --the place they are vulnerable & what they might be hiding & protecting beneath their harsh words & prickly exterior. This is a place they may never let me see. It's a storage place for their hurts & disappointments. It holds the root cause of their skepticism & the anger that probably has very little to do with me. I must remember, "For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of" (Matthew 12:34b). And from the overflow of their underbelly, they spewed.

If I forget the other person's underbelly, I am tempted to start storing up my own hurt, skepticism, anger, & disappointments. If I remember this underbelly, I have a much greater chance to keep it all in perspective.

This isn't easy. This process of examining my issues --& of being willing to be used by God to help a critical, hurting person.

It's hard. But it's godly. I am called to represent Christ wherever I go, to all those with whom I interact. Therefore, I re-present Him with each encounter. If I handle myself well, I can be reminded in Luke 21 that this will result in me being a witness for Jesus to this person: "And so you will bear testimony to me [Jesus]. But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict" (verse 13-15).

Before I am in the midst of the hard situation, I need to make up my mind. That's what I'm doing as I consider my underbelly & their underbelly. I'm deciding in advance not to worry. Not to get all defensive. And to gather God's words & wisdom.

But that is SO easy to type out & SO hard sometimes to live out!

But I must remember these truths:
"We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).
"Whatever is true...think on such things" (Philippians 4:8).
"Set your heart on things above...set your minds on things above" (Colossians 3:1-2).

This isn't easy stuff, but it is good. It's a crucial part of my imperfect progress. With each of these types of encounters, I am given an opportunity to put on display that Jesus is the Lord of my heart & the Lord of my reactions. Therefore I must remember that Jesus teaches, "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse" (Romans 12:14).

I must pray for an authentic heart. I should do the rare & beautiful thing of choosing to offer love in situations when most people would choose to scorn or ignore.

I need to dare to pray for an overwhelming sense of God's love --not love for the ugliness that has come from a critical person, but love for the soul created within them. That person belongs to God. He loves them. He treasures them even when He doesn't approve of their actions. He treasures me even when He doesn't approve of my actions. Thanks be to God!

"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44).

When someone says something ugly about me, I hope they don't see me, but Jesus who reigns inside of me like the Bible reveals in Acts 4:13: "When they [the rulers and elders of the people] saw the courage of Peter and John and realized they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus" (emphasis added).

Oh I want that to be noted about my life! That my words, my love for those who love me --even more, my love for those who don't love me-- reveal that, yes, I have been with Jesus.

Me. The unglued woman who dared to look at her underbelly & saw some hard-to-see things:
Wounds.
Broken places.
Possibility.
Change.
Steps toward holiness.
Imperfect progress.
The hurt in those who hurt me --their underbellies.
Grace.
Love.
Me looking a lot more like Jesus than I did before.

And to discover through all this seeing --being unglued isn't all bad.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update

A Step Toward Holiness

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

 

As I mentioned yesterday: instead of wallowing in the pit of what had been (a blow up --coming unglued due to another situation-- at the girls), I need to step out into imperfect progress & holiness. That is one step in the direction of holiness. Holiness. God says that this is possible, even for someone like me. "Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work" (2 Timothy 2:21). Cleansing myself from what is dishonorable. Yes, that is what I want. But I can't cleanse what I don't see.

 

I hope I can see my raw emotions as a call to action. Some imperfect progress needs to be made right here, right now. If coming unglued enables me to see my underbelly, then there is a good & redemptive side to it. And if it all ultimately points me to what Isaiah calls "the Way of Holiness" so that I spend less & less time unglued, then it's not merely good, it's of God:

And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness; it will be for those who walk on that Way. The unclean will not journey on it; wicked fools will not go about on it. No lion will be there, nor an ravenous beast; they will not be found there. But only the redeemed will walk there, and those the LORD has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will brown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. (Isaiah 35:8-10)

I hope to one day silence the howling sorrow of regret. And stop the sighing of a soul so spent. A soul that catches herself thinking she will never get better. Is it possible? Might all this imperfect progress & awkward steps toward holiness --these hidden treasures of unglued-- be leading me to a place where I experience gladness & joy more than sorrow & regret?

 

If we let it, unglued will allow us to become humbly & beautifully broken before Him. I pray I am more often broken & less often unglued. But if unglued leads me to being broken, I am thankful.

 

This is the upside to my downfall. Coming unglued isn't all bad. It lets me see 2 crucial things: It lets me see me --really see me. It also lets me see others --really see others.

 

And when others come unglued on me, I must remember their external expressions are internal indicators as well. Brokenness is there. I may not feel tender & gentle toward their unglued expressions or reactions, I can be tender & gentle toward their brokenness.

 

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update: They Have Underbellies Too

Switching on the Light

Today's Unglued Blog Update

 

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

I really don't like those situations in which something small feels really big. Maybe a look from someone that suddenly makes me eel they don't like me at all. Or a friend doesn't return my phone call or text & I feel like it's an indication that I'm not important. Or one of the girls makes a comment about how terrific another mother is & I feel like it's a direct indication of their disappointment in me.

Usually these things aren't true. The look was just a look with no hidden meaning. The missed phone call or text was just a slip on my friend's to-do list. The comment...well, maybe that one was a dig. Or maybe it was just a compliment for the other mom & not a statement against me. If I'm not careful, these misguided feelings can distract me, discourage me, & trigger past pain to start taunting me.

And sometimes, those misguided feelings activate that running mouth inside my head: You're nothing but a loser. You are unwanted. You are so disorganized. You are poor. You are not acceptable. You are not approved.

One small thing can have a subtle shift into an unglued feeling coming on strong. Remember I've talked about how all the negative inside chatter is a huge red flag that things internally are about to set me up for a raw reaction externally. And sometimes this comes in the form of stuffing those feelings down in the immediate. But like the subtle beginnings of soul leprosy, they start eating away.

But later, I will blow up....I'll lose it. I'll yell. I'll purse my lips & point my finger. And then (like Lysa), I hate myself because this blow up usually comes out on the girls. Right there in the midst of a family where I'm supposed to be a "Christian example," I blow it. I feel awful. And start to doubt that I'm good enough to be their mother, much less be a child of God.

But God doesn't whisper hushed condemnations. Convictions, yes. Condemnations, no.

When lies are swarming & attacking me like a bunch of blood-thirsty mosquitoes, the best thing I can do is open God's Word & immerse myself in His truth. Lies flee in the presence of truth. But just as I have to flip a light switch to erase the darkness in a room,

I have to activate truth to erase the lies. I have to capture my thoughts, hold them up to the truth, & make them line up with Scripture before I entertain those thoughts. Lysa provided an excellent example of how she did this:

THOUGHT: I am a horrible mom.
VERSE: "We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).
THOUGHT: I am not a horrible mom. I might have had a horrible reaction, but that doesn't define me.

THOUGHT: I didn't react like a good mother would. And I certainly didn't react like a Christian.
VERSE: "Whatever is true...think about such things" (Philippians 4:8).
TRUTH: I love my kids. That is true. I love God. That is true. I was tired. That is true. I felt insecure and it affected me. That is true. God gives never-ending grace. That is true. I can ask for forgiveness and redeem this mess. That is true. The more I think on truth, the quieter the lies get. That is true.

THOUGHT: This will never get better. I'll always be a slave to my raw emotions.
VERSE: "Set your hearts on things above...set your minds on things above" (Colossians 3:1-2).
THOUGHT: I'm tired of setting my heart on the voice of the enemy. Setting my heart and mind on lies is like setting the radio dial on a trashy station --what feeds me affects me. So, here is my heart, Lord. I set it on truth and truth alone. Here is my mind, Lord. I set it on truth and truth alone.

I should read these verses over & over & over. And let them feed better thoughts. Anytime I start hearing lies speaking louder than truth, it's an indication my soul is starving for God's Word. So I need to feed it truth & starve it of the lies begging to get down deep & mess me up.

After reassurance of God's truth, it helps me feel approved (good enough) again. Then comes the tough part of modeling Christ's teaching even in the aftermath of my awful reaction with my girls: asking for forgiveness from my family. And though I blow it when I blow up at them, I realize God's grace always allows for second chances. Instead of wallowing in the pit of what had been, I can step into imperfect progress & holiness.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update about A Step toward Holiness.

It Isn't All Bad: An Honest Peek Inside the Soul

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

Coming unglued --spewing or stuffing raw emotions-- it isn't good & can get pretty ugly. It causes hurt & damages relationships. The hurt is real. The hurt is deep. And the hurt is lingering.

But, coming unglued isn't all bad. And Lysa spends the last chapter showing me how (of course you guys know my pace, so this could take a couple of posts).

Let's take an honest peek inside the soul.

When remodeling a house, there is an underbelly (bruises, bumps, & blemishes). If we try to rush to decorate & make every room inviting to our friends before the remodel is finished, all we are doing is covering up the underbelly. Doing the tough work of the underbelly will pay off down the road when we know all the pretty decor is not covering up anything but rather enhancing the architecture.

The underbelly of my life looks the same way. The underbelly of my life is my personal development & spiritual life. If I am in too big of a hurry to look good & I just put on the pretty "decor" to appear as if I've got it all together...all I'll be doing is covering up. I've got to take time to look at my underbelly. This is not easy work & some days it doesn't seem like I get much done; but I've got to do it! The underbelly takes tough work that isn't always immediately visible but it's the foundation to my health --emotionally & spiritually.

But I'll never see what needs to be repaired & cleaned up in my underbelly unless I do one thing: LOOK at the deep inside of myself. I can't live to just try to survive without losing it again. That happens when I get busy or maybe don't know how to look. But there is one place I can start looking --my unglued places.

My unglued places could be like windowpanes of clear glass that give me an honest peek inside my soul --places where I can see what's really going on within. I have to fix the foundational issues first. I've been blogging about pausing once a week to let my soul exhale during a Sabbath rest. That's good & necessary. But what about the other 6 days of the week? I've got to stay calm & exhale in the midst of the everyday messes when I so desperately want to be a "together" woman.

There are many things I can do --volunteer on lots of committees, outfit my girls with matching dresses & bows, show up on time, pluck my eyebrows & shave my legs, drive a clean car, & hang a seasonal wreath on my front door. Then I could pat myself on the back & think: Ahhh...I am together. I've decorated my life with impressive stuff. But behind closed doors, the decorations will be meaningless in the face of my emotional outburst or the silent treatments I dish out.

But a well-decorated life isn't a sign of togetherness. It may seem impressive temporarily, but in the long run if the foundation crumbles, it won't matter how many pretty pictures are on the walls. The whole house will fall.

This is why coming unglued isn't all bad. Just as a light that fails to come on when the switch is flipped may indicate a wiring problem, coming unglued may indicate a problem with my internal wiring. Outward expressions are internal indications. If my outward expressions are unglued, there is some brokenness internally. Broken places I won't address unless I am forced to acknowledge their existence. As painful as it might be to name these broken places, seeing myself --really seeing, deeply & honestly-- is a very good thing.

When I look through the window of my unglued reactions, I may find pride I don't want to acknowledge. Longstanding unforgiveness. Deep-seated bitterness. Simmering anger. Joy-stealing jealousy. Condemning shame. Haunting regrets. Entangling rejection. Or I might see a schedule crammed too full & have to own up to feeling taken for granted & unappreciated. Or it could be that I finally acknowledge the very real damage never-ending stresses have caused --that I sometimes both love & despise my life at the same time. And I can't stand when I feel this way.

If things are ever going to get better, I have to acknowledge my underbelly that fuels my unglued reactions. I may not like what I see, but at least I'll know what I'm dealing with. I can call it what it is and ask God to help me.

I'm tired, God. What do I do?
I'm lonely, God. What do I do?
I'm mad, God. What do I do?
I'm insecure, God. What do I do?
I'm frustrated, God. What do I do?

I don't take time to ask God what to do often enough! Perhaps having a clear-eyed view of my underbelly will help me go to God more --more frequently, more authentically, more humbly.

So coming unglued isn't all bad if it brings me to God. It isn't all bad if it brings to light what's eating away at me in the dark. Coming unglued is glorious if the end result of that brokenness leads me to holiness.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update.

Letting My Soul Breathe

This is Today's Unglued Blog Update

I left my laptop at work yesterday so I don't have as many front tricks this morning as I'm doing this one from my phone. I also don't have a spellcheck so forgive my grammatical errors! Well, there IS autocorrect, but that doesn't always work out in my favor.

As usually, this is mostly what Lysa said & very little to none from my brain.

Any Sabbath changes --whether it's realigning my way with God's way, being a God-seeker looking for good, or stopping the idle thoughts-- won't happen overnight. But the more I intentionally practice Sabbath, the more the Sabbath rhythm will become natural to me. Inhale. Exhale. For this is the rhythm of the soul that breathes & lives; it's the rhythm of the soul that doesn't just survive but thrives!

So Lysa encourages me to seriously consider implementing some version of what she's discussed. Like, go ahead & pen-and-ink schedule my Sabbath time to rest & reflect this week.

As mentioned before, the Sabbath isn't just a time to be observed, it's a time to be preserved. The observer remembers to rest. The preserver rests to remember.

I need to Remember: it's all about God. I need to capture this Sabbath time. And then do it again next week. And the next. Sabbath can be one of the most crucial parts of my imperfect progress.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update: It Isn't All Bad

Get Rid of Idle Thoughts

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

As I reflect on the Sabbath, there are 3 questions I should ask as prompted by the prophet Isaiah:
1) Where am I going my own way right now? (click HERE for details)
2) What one area of my life is more self-pleasing than God-pleasing? (click HERE for details)
3) What idle words need to be reined in from running rampant in my mind or spilling from my lips?

This blog post, I'll cover Question 3:
What idle words need to be reined in from running rampant in my mind or spilling from my lips?
The New American Standard Bible translates "idle words" in Isaiah 58:13 as "speaking your own word." I get into trouble when, instead of parking my mind on truth, I let them idle in perception. Man...that is dangerous!

This danger is yet another thing God wants to protect me from in the Sabbath --the day to be preserved.

Perception....sometimes I allow idle thoughts to run rampant in my mind for so long I confuse them with truth. I need to do less, be more, & clear out the clutter of idle words. I need to find that white space & honor God.

 Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update: Letting Your Soul Breathe

Self-Seeking vs God-Seeking

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

As I reflect on the Sabbath, there are 3 questions I should ask as prompted by the prophet Isaiah:
1) Where am I going my own way right now? (click HERE for details)
2) What one area of my life is more self-pleasing than God-pleasing?
3) What idle words need to be reined in from running rampant in my mind or spilling from my lips?

This blog post, I'll cover Question 2:
What one area of my life is more self-pleasing than God-pleasing?

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

We live in a day & time when our rights sometimes take precedence over our pursuit of righteousness, when we get caught in the rush of seeking self rather than seeking God. So quick to offer a complaint when things don't go exactly right. So forgetful without thank-yous when things go well.

For example, Chik-fil-A (one of my FAV places) is a God-seeking business. They take the opportunity to hand us customers a sandwich with a smile, a kind word, some kind of go-the-second-mile gesture, & for that brief moment, they make our day a little brighter, a little better. The grumpy customers get the same kindness the happy ones get. A self-seeking business would simply see each customer as another transaction. But a God-seeking business sees each customer as a person with real needs. And they always offer the rare words of kindness, encouragement, & blessing. This is a fundamental value in the corporate culture of Chick-fil-A. They are also one of the few retail businesses left in America that still honor the Sabbath. They are closed on Sundays. A day of rest. A day of reflection. A day to regroup & focus on God & family.

Might I dare to be a Sabbath woman who is more God-seeking than self-seeking? Might I be a woman of the rare word of kindness? And might I even be so bold as to not just make kindness come out of my mouth but also be the meditation of my heart?

It's not easy. But it is good.

A challenge Lysa issued herself & I want to issue myself: Remind myself on the Sabbath day to find the good in my everyday.

In every situation, in every interaction, in every day, be a noticer of the good. That's what God-seekers do --they notice the good. Even when the good has nothing to do with the circumstances & everything to do with how God will teach me through them --find the good. And in that good, my soul will exhale, "Sabbath."

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update: What idle words need to be reined in from running rampant in my mind or spilling from my lips?

Where Am I Going My Own Way

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

As I reflect on the Sabbath, there are 3 questions I should ask as prompted by the prophet Isaiah:
1) Where am I going my own way right now?
2) What one area of my life is more self-pleasing than God-pleasing?
3) What idle words need to be reined in from running rampant in my mind or spilling from my lips?

This blog post, I'll cover Question 1:
Where am I going my own way right now?
Sometimes it's hard to see areas in my life where I am going my own way instead of God's way. These aren't the thoughts my mind is consumed with while running to Walmart, filling my car with gas, or rushing to get the girls to school on time. But these are the areas I can & should consider on the Sabbath. That's when I have time to stop the rush & to pray & think -- really pray & think. Not just for short-term survival but for the ongoing revival of my soul.

Then when I start going my own way, I'll be able to recognize it & stop it.

God's way is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

My way sometimes looks so much different. Just take all those qualities & flip them into a package that's impatient, rushed, & pushed to the limits. It's not pretty & it's not what I want. I want God's way!

But when the rhythm of my soul is survival instead of revival, I will come unglued.

Here's a verse to consider:

Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)

The Message says it this way:

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love.

Ahhh...keep company with Him. Sabbath. Learn a life of love...Sabbath.

This is what the rhythm of Sabbath shows me. I can learn a life of love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. And all the other qualities of God. When I pause once a week to realign my way to God's way, my soul exhales, & it is good. Sabbath, oh how my soul needs this.

Next Unglued Blog Update: What one area of my life is more self-pleasing than God-pleasing?

Finding My Spiritual White Space

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

There are honest, personal reasons we need to observe the Sabbath that will be unique for each person. There are private reflections & conversations we need to have with God. There is a desperate need for us to hit pause, sit with God, & ask Him to reveal some things to us.

Where am I going my own right now?
What area of my life is more self-pleasing than God-pleasing?
What idle words need to be reined in from running rampant in my mind or spilling from my lips?

These questions are from Isaiah 58...the Sabbath isn't just a time to be observed; it's a time to be preserved. The observer remembers to rest. The preserver rests to remember -- remember that it's all about God. It's all about pausing. It's all about connecting with God without the distracting rhythms of my everyday. Letting God show me a better rhythm. One that will preserve the best of me & reveal the places I'm getting off track & being filled with unnecessary clutter. Once I see clutter -- the places I'm going my own way, the areas I'm more self-pleasing than God-pleasing, the idle words that need to be reined in -- I can clean the clutter. The Sabbath does this.

In a sense I can take this one day for a soul cleaning so I can live the other six with the freedom to breathe that my soul so desperately need.

There's no need to get all angry & complicated & overanalyzing. I should inhale the issues but exhale with grace. Just an honest assessment from a soul that is rested enough to stay calm. Joy, rest, grace. I can get all that from observing & preserving the Sabbath...I think I want more of that!

It can also be viewed as finding my spiritual white space. In the visual arts world, white space refers to portions of a page left unmarked.  In graphic design, white space is a key element to the aesthetic quality of a composition. The more fine art a composition is, the more white space you'll find. The more commercial a piece is, the more text & images you'll find crowded in. The purpose is no longer beauty. It is commercialization.

I don't want my life to be so crowded that I'm nothing more than a commercial for crazy! I want to be a fine art. Like the David talked about earlier (click HERE if you missed that one). Chiseled & perfected with time.

Time with the One who, from the beginning, modeled Sabbath. Time with the One who can see past my facade & into the deep places of my heart. Past the surface reasons I come unglued to the deeper places.

And in that space of time, with the One who really sees & knows, I'll rest & I'll reflect.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update: Three Sabbath Questions

Time to Exhale

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

 

Sabbath rest has always been part of God's plan for His people:

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the LORD's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob." For the mouth of the LORD has spoken. (Isaiah 58:13-14)

 

Sabbath is the time set aside for my soul to breathe. Really breathe. So much of my daily life is inhaling, inhaling, inhaling -- taking so much in & holding my breath hoping I can manage it all. But I can't just inhale. I must also exhale -- letting it all out before God & establishing a healthier rhythm by which to live.

 

I love that God wants us to rest. I love that He's not just interested in what I do but also in making sure I don't get burned out. God reminds me to Sabbath so I'll have a new rhythm in my everyday. This is one twenty-four-hour period to disrupt my typical rhythm so I'll be set up to find my joy in the Lord.

 

When I'm coming unglued, I feel like I've lost my joy. Anything that will help me find joy, especially soul-resonating "joy in the LORD," sounds good to me. My soul exhales with one long "Yes!" If this is what I want -- to find my joy in the Lord -- the Bible makes it clear that rest is key. I must slow down. Stop. Pause. Yes, I am called to rest.

 

But I am also called to reflect. If I am honoring the Lord's holy day, I'm called to rest from three things:

- Going my own way;

- Doing as I please;

- Speaking idle words.

 

How this looks for me might be different from how it looks for Lysa. But God is much more concerned with the attitude of my heart than the actual activity of my body on the day of Sabbath. I must absolutely avoid the crippling effects of legalism by which I pride myself in following rules, all the while missing out on actually following the Lord. The apostle Paul reminds me:

Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Mood celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ. (Colossians 2:16-17, emphasis added)

 

The Scriptures remind us that the reality of true Sabbath is found in Christ. In Him I see a picture of grace. And in grace I can be vulnerable enough to be completely honest with myself about myself. Completely honest.

 

Stay tuned for my next Unglued Blog Update....more on Sabbath

My Soul Needs to Exhale

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

When we rest at this house, it's usually sitting around on the couch, watching TV in our jammie~jams.

Rest. That sounds so good, but it's really difficult to do. Even when my physical body is at rest, my mind rarely is. Can anyone relate with me on this?

I feel like I am always juggling balls in my brain. With the girls' needs, home demands, & work projects, the to-do lists never stop.

Yet the Bible makes it very clear that we are to pursue rest. Literally we are to hit the pause button on life once a week & guard our rest. Guard it fiercely. Guard it intentionally. Guard it even if our schedules beg us not to.

Where there is a lack of rest, there is an abundance of stress. And where there is an abundance of stress, there is great potential for me to come unglued.

Always being on the go & keeping my stress level ratcheted high is a huge internal trigger for me. I know it. Now, I'm tyring to follow God's advice on what to do about it.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update cause it's Time to Exhale

Queiting the Inside Chatter

Today's Unglued Blog Update

 

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

Our mouths are filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them." ~Psalm 126:2

If honor, encouragement, & love are the characteristics of the friendships I want in my life, I need to foster these qualities in my relationships. One way to do this relates to the matter of inside chatter. We engage in inside chatter when we hyper-analyze a conversation after the fact. The back-and-forth in our heads sounds something like this:
When I said this, she probably thought that.
Now she probably thinks this.
Maybe I should say something to fix it, but then she might think I'm a crazy overanalyzer.
Oh good grief, why did I say that?

If you don't know what I'm talking about, then throw your hands in the air & praise God right now that you don't struggle with the demon of inside chatter. But if you do know what I'm talking about, praise the Lord & exhale that you're not alone.

Now that I've exhaled, I'm going to inhale a new possibility. The possibility that I can foster the honor, encouragement, & love I desire by giving my friends permission to quiet their inside chatter. What does that look like? It might be a just a quick phone call or test [or knowing they'll read this] to say, "When you & I have a conversation, you don't ever have to worry about how I'll analyze everything later. I'm not thinking you're crazy or high-maintenance or wacky or not one of the cool kids, okay? I love you. And if I need clarification about something, I'll just call & process it with you." What a gift a phone call or text like this would be to me cause I sometimes drive myself crazy over a conversation I've had with a friend.

Inside chatter is such a crazy thing!

Friendships are like plowed open fields ready for growth. What I plant is what will grow. If I plant seeds of reassurance, blessing, & love, I reap a great harvest of security. Of course, if I plant seeds of backbiting, questioning, & doubt, I reap a great harvest of insecurity.

Indeed, today is a great day to call or text a friend & say, "I love you. That's all I'm thinking. Period."

The more love & joy I pour into others, the more I experience in my own life. But I have that overflowing joy -- that super-abundant joy -- only when I focus on God's truth & His Word. Psalm 126:2-3 would make a lovely lead song for the soundtrack of my life:

Our mouths are filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.

Not that everything is always peachy. Good gracious...this stuff is tough! These issues can be more complicated than three simple questions. But holding my thoughts accountable is a good place to start.

Addressing the issue of inside chatter will lead me to freedom. Not just freedom from negative things like doubt & insecurities, confusion & suspicion. But freedom to pour out love on others. Freedom to think clearly. Freedom to obey God's call on my life no matter what others think. My thoughts really matter.

After all, how a woman thinks is often how she lives.

I think I need to say that again for myself to let it really sink in: How a woman thinks is often how she feels. May I think on & live out truth, & only truth, today.

Stay tuned for my next Unglued Blog Update: My Soul Needs to Exhale

Three Questions

Today's Unglued Blog Update

 

Happy New Year! CHEER to your 2013!

 

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

Our mouths are filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them." ~Psalm 126:2

So, here are three questions I can use to hold my runaway thoughts, assumptions, & misperceptions in check. I would do well to ask them to myself when thoughts I assume others are thinking drag me down.

Question 1: Did someone actually say this or am I making assumptions about what they're thinking?
People aren't thinking about me nearly as much as I might think they are. And even if they really are thinking something negative about me, I can deal with it once I know the truth. When I assume something about another person's thoughts, that's unfair to the person & unnecessarily damaging to myself. Instead of staying anxious, I need to seek out truth by asking the person for clarification & asking God to help me process what I hear in the right way.

Philippians 4:6 invites me to choose prayer over worry in every situation. Instead of allowing my thoughts to overtake me, whether in assumptions or despair, I can ask God to shine His truth into our situation: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Question 2: Am I actively immersing myself in truth?
The more I read God's truths & let truth fill my mind, the less time I'll spend contemplating untruths. Thinking runaway worrisome thoughts is just an invitation to anxiety. Thinking on truth wraps my mind in a peace that rises above my circumstances. I must remember what science reveals: When I feel anxious, those "negative thoughts shift my body's focus to protection & reduce your ability to process and think with wisdom or grow healthy thoughts."

If I want truth to guard my heart & mind, I have to immerse myself in truth. I do that by opening God's Word & letting God's Word open me. That's how I am made new in the attitude of my mind.

Philippians 4:7 holds a promise for me when I turn to God & allow His truth to fill me -- my heart is protected by peace: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Question 3: Are there situations or relationships that feed my insecurities?
Finally, if some situations or relationships feed my insecurities, maybe I need to take a break from them for a season. If a friendship is not characterized by honor, encouragement, & love, then it is not good for either of us.

Instead I need to chose to think about what God has already revealed to me as His will for a time in my life. I don't need a person's approval on my obedience. Only God's. This, per the teaching of Philippians 4:8 is where I need to park my mind: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update about quieting the inside chatter.


Negative Inside Chatter

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today more today than usual) of my own insight/thoughts.

I'm starting a new chapter, which means a new verse:
Our mouths are filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them." ~Psalm 126:2

It's time to tackle negative inside chatter -- those misguided thoughts that can easily turn into perceptions that then all too easily turn into dangerous realities. And realities based on runaway feelings rather than truth always lead to one thing --insecurity.

You are not liked.
Who are you to think you could do that?
Why did you say that? Everyone things you're annoying.
You're not one of the cool kids.
Your kids just illustrated every inadequacy you have as a mom.
You are a horrible mother.
You are invisible.

I have SO been taunted by thoughts like these (and some days still struggle with them). Why do I let such destructive words fall hard on my soul? Toxic thoughts are so dangerous because they leave no room for truth to flourish. And lies are what reign in the absence of truth.

I've mentioned it before, I had a problem with saying, "I am a horrible mother". My saying this out loud came to a screeching halt when my sweet 5-year-old Kayla told me I was not & practically in tears begged me to quit saying it. Somewhere along the way, something had set off negative inside chatter that said, "Tasha, you are a horrible mother." Because I didn't call that thought into question right away, I gave it free rein to turn into a perception. That perception then became the filter through which I processed future conversations. As I built layer upon layer of skewed confirmations, the thought "I'm a horrible mother" became my reality. But it wasn't reality. It was a wrong thought turned into a wrong perception that because a false reality.

Lysa thinks girls do this way too often (& I agree). All these toxic thoughts collect & ratchet up the negativity inside. The more ratcheted up this negativity gets, the closer I am to explosion (spewing) or an implosion (stuffing). Whether I spew or stuff, my anxiety level skyrockets, affecting not only my mind but my soul & body as well. Want to know why?

Lysa shared what some really smart people are saying about some really amazing stuff (research). In short, God designed our bodies to respond to our thoughts. Negative thoughts lead to a crisis response -- activating us physically but hindering our thinking. Positive thoughts allow us to process a situation accurately & respond in a healthy way.

This truth should challenge me to hold my thoughts to a higher standard. How dare these runaway thoughts be allowed to wreak mental & physical havoc! How dare they simply parade about as if they are true, feeding my anxieties, & manipulating me into feeling insecure, inadequate, & misunderstood! Oh how much trouble I invite into my life based on misguided assumptions

Because God made my body -- & all the emotions, hormones, & chemical responses they contain -- His Word provides wisdom on how to manage it all. Here is a key piece of wisdom written by the apostle Paul:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:6-9)

God knew all along how important it is to guard against anxiety by planting our hearts on thankfulness & inviting His power into our lives. His peace is not just a spiritual blessing, but a physical one as well.

I am to think about, ponder, & park my mind on constructive thoughts, not destructive thoughts. Thoughts that build me up, not tear me down. Thoughts that breathe life into me, not suck life from me. Thoughts that lead to peace not anxiety.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update about 3 questions to put negative thoughts in check.

I Must Carry Some Love to Others

Today's Unglued Blog Update

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. ~Galatians 6:4-5

Although I've learned to arrest jealous thoughts by focusing on my own load, I don't need to stop there. The next step in dealing with comparisons is to actively pursue good for others. This is taught in Galatians 6:9-10:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we ill reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

I need to weave love, encouragement, & grace throughout my life. Grace...effortless beauty. I need to refuse to sit in that dark corner & wallow in what I don't have. Instead, I should celebrate what I do have. It will be from that place I can sow life & reap a deep & rare soul satisfaction.

A jealous spirit or a giving spirit? The choice is truly mine.

I don't want to be an empty woman -- a woman set up to come unglued. How might it change my perspective if I realized that the life I have & sometimes wish I could exchange for someone else's is a privileged life -- one many others would give anything to have?

How might I carry my own lad & carry it well today? How might I carry some love to others & expand my soul's capacity today? Oh, that I could make the choice to carry my own load & carry some love to others. I need to choose these ways over gnawing, clawing, soul-atrophying ways of wanting the illusive "it". I need to refuse the pull & drain of the empty woman's ways. Even when life is hard & chaotic, I pray I make the courageous choice to embrace what is & to fill my soul with all the good reality right in front of me.

What I am. What I do have. What I can do.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update about negative inside chatter

I Must Carry My Own Load

Today's Unglued Blog Update

 

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

 

Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. ~Galatians 6:4-5

The first step in dealing with jealous thoughts is to focus on my own responsibilities & actions. For in this focus I find reasons to celebrate what I have been given & what I am doing right.

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. (Galatians 6:4-5)

In Lysa's book Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl (FYI: the next book I've picked to read & hopefully blog through), she shared a truth she challenged herself with when jealousy comes knocking: "I'm not equipped to handle what she has, both good and bad--and what she has is always a package deal of both." In other words, I've been assigned a load I can handle. The good & bad in my load is what I should carry. I'm not designed or assigned to carry someone else's load.

Consider the Galatians verses again from The Message:

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

I like the thought of "doing the creative best with [my] own life" (especially since I don't consider myself to be that creative). When I wish for someone else's life, I waste the limit life energy I've got to face my own challenges & opportunities. God has a beautiful plan for me--a creative best I can accomplish with my life.

Isn't it just like Satan to want to distract me from this? Satan is a liar who steals, kills, & destroys. He wants to steal my attention, kill my joy, & destroy my creative best by making me want what God has entrusted to someone else. In other words, it is a lie straight from Satan that I'd be happier & more content with someone else's load. I wouldn't.

There are many areas of my life I can look back on & thank God for the protection. The boys who never asked me out. The opportunities I never got that keep me humble. All the things I have & don't have are what make up the unique load I've been assigned.

Ultimately, that's why God tells me to concentrate on carrying my own load & avoid comparing & striving for someone else's load--it's for my protection. I see that now. It gives my brain a better place to go when those I-want-what-she-has thoughts start choking the joy from me. And instead of feeling empty, I feel a sense of possibility. I drop seeds of my own creative design & watch the long limbs of purpose start to form.

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update about carrying some love to others.

The "J" Word

Today's Unglued Blog Update

Hey y'all! Did you miss me? Sorry to be out so long...I can't seem to get it together when I have house guests in order to get up to do my Quiet Time (I'm praying about that cause I long for & desire my time with God, EVERYDAY!). And when I don't get my Quiet Time in, I don't get my blog in.

 

As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts.

The memory verse (yea, I haven't gotten any of these memorized yet) for this chapter:

Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. ~Galatians 6:4-5

I don't struggle with jealousy often (at least not too much any more). But when it does sneak into my heart, it's a terrible feeling. Research shows there's a perfect storm of conditions that seem to come together when jealousy occurs. According to a Yale University study, social-comparison jealousy occurs when the following 3 conditions are present: (1) a person receives negative personal feedback (2) in a domain of life that is important to them, & (3) they believe another person is performing successfully in that same domain. In the study, those who experienced social-comparison jealousy were found to disparage the other person & experience feelings of depression & anxiety.

And when I get jealous, I can sometimes act like a toddler.

Oh how I see jealousy with the girls! As a matter of fact, 1 phrase you will hear Jamie say (especially on Thursdays) is I am skipping 3, I want to be 4! See, 4 is apparently a magical age in our house....you get to chew gum, ride in a booster seat, & that's how old you have to be to go to Cheer practice. They also are of course jealous of getting to play with a toy the other one has or spending individual time with Mommy. We aren't jealous over boys yet, but I have a feeling the picture will happen at sometime in our lives.

There are all kinds of areas that are "its" in life where these 3 conditions have been present. And when that's experienced, I have felt the sting of rejection or negative feedback in an area that was important to me & watched as other people seemed to be effortlessly blessed in that very area.
The boyfriend "it": If only I had a date to the dance. I felt ugly.
The friend "it": If only I could be friends with her. I felt left out.
The life management "it": If only I could get it together. I felt incapable.

I let these comparisons & the anxiety they create negatively affect my relationships, my mood, & my confidence to pursue my dreams. The ugly truth is, comparison steals celebrations. And a life void of celebration is an empty life. I stop celebrating my own good & have a really hard time celebrating others' good.

I get empty when I park my mind on comparison thoughts & wallow in them. Nothing good grows in this place; as James 1:15 says, "Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death." No jealous thought is ever life-giving. Wallowing in jealous thoughts actually leads to death. Death of contentment. Death of friendships. Death of peace. And certainly death of joy.

Jealousy & envy cut deeper & deeper until I bleed empty. I lose perspective on what I do have & soon focus only on what I don't have. It's at this point that I sit back & say, "Okay, I get all that. I know this is truth. I know jealousy isn't good. It's not as if I enjoy it, ask for it to haunt me, or even want it in my life. But it's there. So, what's a girl to do? Just having someone say don't feel jealous doesn't help me. Having someone point out a fault without offering a solution just makes me feel even more unglued." (I totally agree with that!)

The best solution -- the only solution -- is pure truth from God's Word.

The Galatians verses about reaping what you sow are part of a larger passage that offers some revealing teaching. It includes a two-step plan of action for when I'm struggling with jealousy: I need to carry my own load (Galatians 6:4-5), & then carry some love to others (Galatians 6:9-10).

Stay tuned for the next Unglued Blog Update about carrying my own load.