Do you EVER have those moments where you become unglued....you snap at your significant other, co-worker, or friend when they are just asking you a question.....or you snap at your children when they are just acting their age? For example: they are playing with each other & being too loud squealing & actually getting along; but it's getting on YOUR last nerve cause it's the end of the day, you're tired, you REALLY want them in bed but it's a Friday night so you're letting them stay up just a little later, & you just want a moment of quiet. So you COMPLETELY become the crazy, head-spinning-in-circles mom by getting REALLY loud & threatening that if they don't get quiet by not saying another word right that instant then they will go to bed without kisses, hugs, or stories. And in reality, you KNOW they are not capable of not saying another world (they ARE preschoolers afterall), & you would NEVER EVER send them to bed without the cuddle time & time for reflection on their day. [Sorry about all the grammar issues in this paragraph....trying to make a point here]
Or am I all alone in this?
I am BEYOND thankful Lysa TerKeurst took the time to write this book. I have those moments WAY more often then I would like to (last night's example above is my latest). It is showing me that I am NOT alone. (PS....God & I have already dealt with my crazy, head-spinning-in-circles moment from last night)
I'm on Day 2 of completing Heartwork for an Online Bible Studay (OBS) as I'm reading it. Just as the subtitle indicates, it is giving me Christ-focused ways to make wise choices in the midst of raw emtions. It's Reflection time from reading Chapter 1: An Invitation to Imperfect Progress. There were some questions for me to answer. Instead of listing the questions out, I'll just discuss them here.
On page 14, Lysa says "What kept me from making changes was the feeling I wouldn't do it perfectly. I knew I'd still mess up and the changes wouldn't come instantly." I can COMPLETELY relate with this statement! For the longest time, I would try to deal with stuff on my own. I would go all head-spinning & just say I was a horrible Mommy. I didn't realize how much I was saying this out loud until Kayla (almost in tears) asked me to PLEASE not say that any more, that I was a great Mommy [nothing will want to make you change more than your child begging you to]. I realized that these raw emotion moments are going to happen & I've just got to pray for God's guidance in how to deal with them. And then I started hearing A LOT about this book. It got me to thinking, maybe, just maybe I can figure out some Christ-focused ways to deal with my raw emotions before I let them explode all over the people around me. Am I going to continue to have head-spinning moments? Oh, I'm sure; but at least now I'm trying to work on it & turn to the Right Source for help.
EVERY TIME I have a head-spinning moment, I feel like it is a setback that keeps me from moving forward....like I'm not worthy of a do-over again, & again, & AGAIN [PS....that's satan creeping in]. But this concept of "imperfect progress" (imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace...imperfect progress) is AWESOME. Afterall, I am a work in progress....I was not created to be perfect. I sin in other areas of my life so why wouldn't I become a head-spinning crazy woman with my kids from time-to-time. I wasn't given then "How to be a Perfect Mom" book because EACH mother & child are different.
HOWEVER, I was given the Bible. And in it is God's Word (as a matter of fact I call it that often). I trust Him in other areas of my life & seek His Guidance. So why in the world would I think I've got this mom thing figured out without even going all the way through it...or this emotions thing without having already experienced every emotion in every type of situation. I just MUST rely on His Guidance to help me deal with my moments of raw emotion.
Hebrews 12:1b says ...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. [Memory Verse for Chapter 1 & I am working on memorizing it] To run the race that God has set before us, I must also strip off the excess weight that slows me down. How can I do that? I pray to God, get in His Word, ask for forgiveness, & seek His Guidance. And if 'stuff' starts creeping up again in my head of how I have messed up YET AGAIN [PS...satan creeping again]; I do the same thing & I do it over & over until God has helped me deal with it. It took me A LONG TIME to understand this. To say it is easy, but satan likes to keep throwing stuff in my face about how I mess up & how I am not perfect. "How can you call yourself a Christian? You are such a hypocrit & look at all the bad stuff you do in your life." Have you ever heard that from anyone? The AWESOME & AMAZING thing about God is, He is forgiving & forward-moving. He doesn't dwell on the bad. He knows I am going to sin, it's my human nature. But He forgives me anyway. He forgave me when He sent His One & Only Son to die on the cross for us. And He forgives me the moment I ask Him to.
The Christian life involves hard work. It requires us to give up whatever endangers our relationship with God, to run with endurance, and to struggle against sin with the power of the Holy Spirit. Is there anything endangering your relationship with God? What do you need to do to live effectively? Those questions were presented & I'm dealing with them with God. But I HAVE to give Him everything....I have to be an open book to Him. I MUST ask Him to open my eyes to things that break His heart as sin in my life. Once He points those things out to me, I must ask for His forgiveness & stear clear of it.
The key points from Chapter 1 are:
1) There is hope! I can make imperfect changes that are slow steps wrapped in grace...imperfect progress.
2) There will be progress!
3) Emotions are NOT bad! God gave me emotions so I could experience life, not destroy it.
4) I am NOT alone!
So, what are your thoughts?