Friday, November 16, 2012

Richter Scale

Today's Unglued Blog Update: The Exploder Who Blames Others
Another one of mostly my rewording & adding some of my own to what Lysa said. I just think she hits the nail right on the head!

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ~1 Peter 5:8
Did you know that there are two types of moms? Some moms are equipped by the hand of God to be "that mom." They have been formed with the three-C gene--Cooking, Crafting, & Cleaning come easily & naturally to them. Others of us have been delightfully chosen to provide the comic relief necessary to keep this world entertained (& keep future therapists in business). This could be applied to dads too (being handy/Mr. Fix It vs. comic relief); but since I'm a mom, that's where I place my focus.

You know those times I've mentioned that I know, the head-spinning Momma Moments. Well, those tend to happen when I am trying to be "that mom" with the three-C gene. My internal good mom/bad mom dialogue torments me (just as it does Lysa) of good moms do this (something better than I was doing) & bad moms do this (exactly what I was doing). Lysa's example was about a science experiment of growing sea monkeys gone wrong. I'll put it hear just so you can see how this dialogue goes:
Good moms grow sea monkeys. Bad moms grown nasty flies.
Wait! Good moms don't even buy sea monkey kits at a book sale. Bad moms struggle to tell their kids no and give in too easily.
Good moms get on the Internet and figure out how to turn a fly debacle into an enriching science lesson for their kids. Bad moms kill the stupid flies and hide all evidence from their kids.

And sometimes this dialogue can go on & on. With each reassurance that I was a bad mom, my emotions ratchet higher & higher. On the stress scale (like a Richter Scale for earthquakes)...
...I could have been hovering around a potential hazard of 4, but this conversation in my head easily pushed me to 7. Add to that a preschool squabble about who's turn it is to pick the 1st TV show of the morning & the fact that I can't find my cell phone, & I am all the way up to 9.8. Throw in a comment from one of said preschoolers about somebody doing something different, & I'm ready to explode & blame anyone & everyone who has the misfortune to be nearby....and that's when I would typically throw out: I am a horrible mother! Why don't you just go let [insert the name of any grandparent or friend's parent] be your mother since they do it so much better than I do.

It's during those I tend to feel angry (for whatever reason). And that's when I really need self-control the most. The Bible includes many verses about the subject of self-control:
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. ~Proverbs 25:28
gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ~Galatians 5:23
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ~1 Peter 5:8

But it's hard to display self-control when someone else does things out of my control that yank my emotions into a bad place. When someone else's actions or statements threaten to pull me into a bad place, I DO have a choice! It may not feel like it. In fact, it may feel like I am a slave to my feelings -- but I'm not. I must remember: feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate there is a situation I need to deal with, but they shouldn't dictate how I react. I have a choice.

Stay tuned for my next Unglued blog update to learn more.

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