Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Flitting To & Fro

Today's Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl Book Blog Update
As usual...I'm just mainly putting what Lysa has said in her book with some (very little--actually maybe not at all today) of my own insight/thoughts. And y'all, today it's like what she said are the thoughts I've had in my head!

As I read what Lysa wrote, I agree with her & think: So now what? I've said yes to fully committing my life to God, but as I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life....what do I do?

 I wanted to make a difference for Him, but couldn't figure out what I had to offer. It's like the unwilling feather--
 --weightless, exhausted from all the flitting to & fro, but completely unable to resist the winds that carried me away.

When I thought about all that filled my life, everything I ever thought would make me feel happy stared back at me. A diploma, a husband, children, dependable vehicle, & a nice house were all there. That's what made the hollow feeling in my chest especially troublesome.

The emptiness made me feel desperate, needy, complicated, full of unrealistic expectations.....which lead to feelings of disillusion. Weren't Christians supposed to automatically have it all together after saying yes to God? My relationships with my husband & family were strained & quickly went from blessings to burdens. Even though I knew in my head that God could fill my soul, I still found myself wanting my husband & kids to do the job. It just seemed easier trying to get these things from those I could see & touch. But no matter how wonderful they are, they make very poor gods. They couldn't possibly do what I was asking of them.

Wanting inner peace so badly, I have searched for things to do that might make me feel significant. I started my own home-based business, not only once, but THREE times (one company twice). These businesses & companies are both AWESOME! I thought: "Hey, I can meet with people, show them some great products, & make more friends. Everyone needs more friends, maybe more friends will fill this emptiness." One was kitchen based gadgets & the other was makeup. But I'm not great at cooking & have a minimal approach to makeup application. I am also not pushy & would tell my friends they could really just enjoy their time & not feel obligated to buy a thing.

So neither of these businesses lasted long for me. I do still use these products (use them daily at home) and will enthusiastically attend any home-based party...cause I heart parties!

I had said yes to fully surrendering my life to Jesus being my Savior, but didn't have a clue how He could be the answer to my emptiness.

Stay tuned for the next Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl Book Blog Update

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